| The new wave of spam |
[15 Jul 2008|12:09pm] |
Spammers are constantly trying out new tricks... the latest trend seems to be in sending out emails with outrageous, often bewildering news headlines as subjects. This just in (my spam folder):
• Britney in coma, feared dead
• Heart transplant kid kills 10, shots himself
• Rat poison found in bottled waters
• Pope killed by assasin in Vatican City
• Pitcher's skull split open by pitch
• Facebook hacked into, millions of accounts lost
• Heath Ledger awarded posthumous oscar
• Beijing Olympics cancelled, moved to Atlanta
• North Korea nuclear fallout
• Barack Obama pulls out from Presidential Race
• Three weeks of thunderstorm coming
• Escape artist gets caught shopping
I couldn't figure out what exactly was newsworthy about that last item. Anyway, I guess it's better than constantly being told that somebody caught me naked on cam. Or that I shouldn't feel sad about badboner.
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| Nostalgia ain't what it used to be |
[08 Jul 2008|12:03pm] |
A lot of arty movie critics are feeling snarky about this new indie film called The Wackness (which I have no interest in seeing), because it takes place in 1994. I guess the joke - either by the filmmakers or assumed by the critics - is that in 2008 (actually 2007) one could make a "period piece" set in the mid-90s. Haw haw! How ironic, because 1994 was so recent and everything!
But look. American Graffiti was drenched with nostalgia. And the 1962-set film was made just eleven years later, in 1973. That's three years less than The Wackness's time gap. But I don't think anybody complained back then that 1962 was too recent to make a "flashback" film about.
And heck, fourteen years can be a long time! Think about the fourteen years between 1967, the Summer of Love and Vietnam, and 1981, the Summer of New Wave and Reaganomics. You could have totally made a film about the late 60s in the early 80s (some did) and nobody would have said, "Isn't it a little too soon to indulge in hippie nostalgia?"
My point, of course, is not that we can now feel nostalgic about the mid-90s. My point, if you remember my earlier diatribes, is that we've slid into a slow-motion cultural bog, where fourteen years can pass and things don't really look or feel that different. Sure, the Internet came along and changed everything about how we deal with each other (one whopping year later, in 1995), but I still say if Marty McFly got in that time machine today and zoomed back to 1994, it would take him a long time to figure out that he wasn't still in 2008.
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| More old crap |
[07 Jul 2008|06:46pm] |
I'm making all the money I spent converting my student films to Quicktime files count! You've seen the animation, now watch one of the many live action cheapies I shot back at CalArts when I was 20-21. Some I am too embarrassed to show, but this one from early 1992 called Stumble is, I guess, amusing enough.
"Stumble" dark comedy short film from 1992 from Mark Tapio Kines on Vimeo.
Mild warning: there is some stage blood. The bloody guy, by the way, is my friend Bill, who wound up doing the titles for my films as well as for nearly all of M. Night Shyamalan's films and a bunch of other major Hollywood movies - you know him. I've mentioned him here before. Good guy, that Bill. The main actor is my old CalArts buddy Victor, who also wound up doing the sort of things that Bill does (sort of), and who is also a good guy.
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| It's okay to speak ill of the dead... |
[04 Jul 2008|07:47am] |
...when it's Jesse Helms.
Happy Independence Day, everybody.
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| Blast from the past |
[02 Jul 2008|06:24pm] |
Back at college in 1991, I did an animated short using sand. I finally got it digitized (it was shot on 3/4" U-Matic video, pretty much a dead format now) and put it up on YouTube and also Vimeo. I gotta tell you, Vimeo's kind of hot. The video quality is way better than YouTube and it's more streamlined and pretty. It even gives you 12 frames from your video and you can choose which one to use as your thumbnail, which is really cool. Could Vimeo be to YouTube what Facebook is to MySpace, i.e. so much better that it will steal its thunder? Time will tell.
In the meantime, feel free to watch my video. It's for a Robyn Hitchcock song (which I used without permission, but hopefully he'll be all right with it). That means exactly two of you (John and Samuel) reading this will find this video very interesting. You others can treat it like the novelty that it is.
Remember, I was just 20 when I made this. I know it could be much better. But it's nice to finally share it, since I worked my ass off when I made it and then only about ten people ever saw it up till now.
"The Black Crow Knows" Robyn Hitchcock animated music video from Mark Tapio Kines on Vimeo.
While we're at it, I put Portrait of a Pensive Lady on Vimeo too. Much nicer quality!
Portrait of a Pensive Lady from Mark Tapio Kines on Vimeo.
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| This is where the hell Matt was |
[28 Jun 2008|09:30am] |
I'm sure a lot of you have already heard about http://www.wherethehellismatt.com and his three separate adventures, going around the world and having himself filmed dancing badly in front of exotic and famous locales.
Well I just have to say, his third video, where he gets to dance with the locals (including my friend Adam in Vancouver, and who knows? Maybe you!), just came out, and it's pretty inspiring. I'm so jealous of this guy.
Watch and enjoy:
http://www.vimeo.com/1211060
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| Another eyeball game |
[27 Jun 2008|01:30pm] |
I created another direct mail campaign for my bro in law's company. Similar to last year's "Find All 15 Mistakes" card, this game challenges you to find all 12 differences between the photos. Some are ridiculously easy. (Hey, you gotta lure those casual readers in somehow.) Some are, hopefully, harder.
Try to find all 12 in the small graphic below. You can also click on it to see a much larger version with crisper detail.
Leave your guesses in the comments!
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| Things I saw today |
[23 Jun 2008|05:13pm] |
I had lunch with a couple of friends today, and the drive there was full of surprises.
I saw this gigantic inflatable Wall-E at the futuristic gas station at Olympic and Robertson:
(not my photo)
I saw the craziest tiny 3-wheeled car, emblazoned with El Pollo Loco logos, apparently a delivery car for the fast food chain. Alas, I couldn't find any photos of it, but I believe this is the model of the car:
I saw an ancient cowboy walking across the street, terrifyingly slowly. He had the hat, the boots, the suspenders, the jeans... everything but the vest and the holster. Oh, and he had a gigantic beard, too. Maybe he was a member of ZZ Top?
I saw even more weird things, but alas, they came at me so quickly, I forgot the rest.
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| LiveJournal vs. ...? |
[03 Jun 2008|10:38am] |
No, I'm not thinking of moving my blog away from LiveJournal. But I know a few of you have done so with yours, and I'd like to ask you (Jessica, Dom, Ben, etc.) as well as you others who chose something like Blogger or TypePad instead of LJ (Victoria, Samuel, Alex, Nancy, etc.)...
What do those other blogs have that LJ doesn't? Are they easier to use? Easier to add pictures and links to? Easier to find your archived entries?
The way I see it, the reasons why LJ is better are:
1. I can friends-lock my entries. Yes, you need an LJ account to read them, but such a thing is free and easy to set up, and LJ almost always keeps you logged in, week after week.
2. It's easy for me to decide who can and cannot comment on my blogs.
3. If you add a comment (and if you're an LJ user), and anyone replies to your comment, you actually receive that reply in your email. In comparison, if you comment in another blog (I usually don't, because I have to type in my email address and usually some secret pictographic code, then wait for approval, and it's such an annoyance) and want to know if you get a response, you have to look up that old entry online again, which is inconvenient.
So in short, I can't really see why anybody would leave LiveJournal, but a lot of you have. Got 60 seconds to share your thoughts on this?
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| Garden update |
[02 Jun 2008|12:16pm] |
I know you've been on pins and needles waiting to find out how that Meyer lemon of mine has been faring. Well folks, I'm sad to say that after several weeks of hearty growing, last week it started shriveling up, and in fact the entire branch of my dwarf Meyer lemon tree that the fruit was on is dying:
(The rest of the tree looks much healthier, and in fact there are two new "lemonettes" on it, though we'll see if they survive.)
I won't even pretend to know how to care for a lemon tree. I thought it would be easy. But apparently I'd been watering it too much, which is why the fruitlets kept dropping off in their infancy, so when I decide not to water it so often, this branch dries up and the tree's only lemon that had any potential is now a goner.
On the upside, that little cherry tomato bush which showed up out of nowhere last year is still alive and providing us with something akin to a bumper crop this summer:
I took this photo yesterday, shortly before snipping off four of the ripest tomatoes and throwing them into our dinner salads. They were so good! I used to hate tomatoes, and frankly a lot of the varieties you find in stores and restaurants are still inedible in my opinion, but there's nothing like a home-grown cherry tomato, allowed to sweeten on the vine.
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| Field trip |
[29 May 2008|11:15am] |
Yesterday Miki and I had a long-awaited visit to the Virginia Robinson Gardens in Beverly Hills. Although it's owned by Los Angeles County and open to the public, it's kind of an exclusive place. It's only open during the week (meaning only old people and the self-employed can have time to visit), costs $10 per person (unless you're old) and requires advance reservations. And you can only visit when on one of the two guided tours per day. It's an otherwise informal experience, and a pleasant one. We had a funny old lady for a tour guide, and although at 2 hours the tour was about twice as long as it should have been, I'm glad I finally went. Here are some choice photos, so those of you without the time, money, geographical proximity, patience and/or interest can visit the house vicariously.
Here's the main house. Although the grounds cover 7 acres in the heart of BH, the house itself, built in 1911, is rather modest, just 2 bedrooms. Virginia Robinson, by the way, was married to Harry Robinson, heir to the JW Robinson's department stores (called Robinsons-May in more recent times, before it finally closed in 2005; if you live outside of the Southwest U.S., you will not know this store). That's how she got her loot. By bizarre coincidence, I've been hired to design a logo for the new Linde Center at Caltech (the Lindes are plastics billionaires), which itself will be housed in the Robinson building - paid for by Harry Robinson back in the 1920s.
More photos after the jump.
( Read more... )
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| Sick |
[25 May 2008|11:16am] |
Why don't I just cut to the chase:
Yes, that's only the biggest dead squirrel in all Los Angeles County, lying stiff under the vanity in Miki's closet. Courtesy, of course, of our friend Cricket. Her gift to us this morning.
We used to joke that, with all her murderous ambitions, she would wind up bringing a squirrel into the house. But it was a joke. We honestly didn't think she'd ever catch one, much less be able to pick one up in her mouth and bring it into the house through her cat door. (Many of you have met Cricket and you know she is quite small, just 9 lbs.) Wrong!!
What's perhaps the sickest thing about this is that just 5 minutes beforehand - just 5 minutes, friends! - Cricket was cuddling in bed with us, sleeping in late on this cool, cloudy Sunday. So within 5 minutes she managed to leave the house, see a squirrel, hunt it down, kill it (presumably breaking its neck), pick it up, haul it into the house, drop it under Miki's vanity and then promptly forget everything about the incident.
This photo is staged. I had to throw the cat into the frame before she did a 180 and took off, just so you could get a sense of the scale between predator and prey. Cricket would have nothing to do with that squirrel, despite our valiant screams for her to "Get it out!" (I wound up borrowing a shovel from a neighbor to pick up the squirrel and carry it out to the trash cans outside.) It was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Our serial killer cat, her blood lust abated, became an innocent kitty again and was like, "Who brought that in? Get it away from me!"
A disgusting end to a disgusting week.
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| MULTIPLE CHOICE MEME |
[19 May 2008|10:59am] |
This was just going to be 10 questions, but I thought of an 11th... It's a pretty easy meme that should take you just a minute or two to do. So do it! Simply put an "X" between the brackets that best suit your answer.
1. What are you doing with your "economic stimulus" money?
[ ] Putting it into savings
[ ] Paying off debt
[X] Doing what I'm supposed to with it (i.e. buying stuff, investing, and/or giving it away to charity)
[ ] I'm not getting any economic stimulus money
2. How retro are your movie tastes?
[ ] I pretty much only see new or recent releases
[ ] I've seen very few movies made before my lifetime; most just don't interest me
[X] I try to balance seeing classic, pre-1970 films with more recent fare
[ ] I reckon I've watched more pre-1950 movies than I have post-1990 flicks
3. How retro is your clothing style?
[ ] I only buy new clothes that usualy reflect current fashions
[ ] I only buy new clothes, but I try to stick to classic, timeless looks
[X] I buy a lot of second-hand clothes, which may be 5 weeks old or 50 years old - I don't care
[ ] Almost all my wardrobe is vintage (25 years old or older)
4. How well do you keep up with contemporary pop/rock music?
[ ] I've got a pretty good idea of what the kids are listening to these days
[ ] I'm clueless about mainstream trends, but I'm up-to-date with new alternative/college music
[X] I've latched on to a handful of current performers, but my tastes run to music made before 2000
[ ] Music made before 2000? Hell, I'm not sure I could name 10 bands who debuted after 1990!
5. Speaking of pop/rock, which decade listed below do you think produced the best music?
[ ] The 1990s
[X] The 1980s
[ ] The 1970s
[ ] The 1960s
6. Which of the following big summer movies are you MOST likely to go to the theater to see (excluding Indy IV and Batman, which are too obvious)?
[X] Wall-E
[ ] Hellboy II
[ ] The Incredible Hulk
[ ] X-Files: I Want to Believe
7. What do you think about the Beatles?
[ ] I have a great deal of affection for them and their music
[X] Wow, they sure churned out a lot of memorable tunes over the course of just 8 years
[ ] I like a handful of their songs, but otherwise they're not my cup of tea
[ ] If I never hear the Beatles again for the rest of my life, that would be fine
8. What do you think about U2?
[ ] They deserve their title as one of the greatest bands in rock history
[ ] I like their music all right, but I wouldn't pay to see them in concert
[X] I've only heard their hits on the radio, and I haven't been that impressed
[ ] I find them immensely tiresome
9. How was your dating life in high school?
[X] Nonexistent
[ ] I had a couple of "steadies" for a few months, but nothing major
[ ] I was in at least one serious (for high school) relationship for a year or more
[ ] Let's just say that I "played the field"
10. Are you planning on buying a house?
[ ] No, I could be a renter for the rest of my life and be happy
[X] I'd like to be a homeowner someday, but that "someday" could be 20 years from now
[ ] I'll be ready to buy once I feel that housing prices won't get any lower
[ ] I already own a house
11. What do you think your own life will be like when you're 70?
[ ] I see myself living a pretty happy, comfortable retirement
[X] I'd like to still be working for a living - hopefully doing what I love
[ ] I suspect that both my health and my financial situation will be in shambles by then
[ ] I honestly don't see myself (and possibly even the whole world) living to see that day come
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| DEAR SMILE TRAIN |
[13 May 2008|03:01pm] |
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HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU NEED IN ORDER TO STOP RUNNING THOSE HORRIFYING PHOTOS OF HARE-LIPPED THIRD WORLD CHILDREN ON EVERY SINGLE WEB SITE ON THE INTERNET
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| Green Porno |
[08 May 2008|12:10pm] |
Isabella Rossellini - who in my opinion may be the only truly intelligent and interesting film actress alive - made a bunch of semi-educational short films collectively titled Green Porno. They are, in brief, little low-fi movies about insect mating behaviors, written, co-directed, and starring Rossellini.
The series of films has been getting a lot of, um, buzz lately, and as of yesterday, you can now view them:
Watch them here. They're well worth the 5 or 6 minutes it takes to go through them all. My favorite are the "Bee" and "Fly" segments. Hilarious. Isabella Rossellini is so awesome. David Lynch was a fool for not staying with her.
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| Plug |
[06 May 2008|10:43pm] |
As I may have mentioned long ago, I did a bit of design work for this amazing Flash-based thing where you can find connections between thousands of famous individuals, companies, movies, organizations, and so on. Well, after 2 years of development, it's finally ready for prime time, so won't you please take a couple minutes to explore and play with the NNDB Mapper and tell me what you think?
http://mapper.nndb.com
Mouse over icons and expand their connections, drag icons around, drag the whole workspace around, check out the pulldown menus, add other individuals and such to the workspace... there's a ton of neat stuff you can do. It's really impressive Flash work. My favorite part is being able to find out everybody's sexual orientation, religion and political affiliation.
Thanks - and if you like it, pass it on.
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| Garden heartbreak |
[02 May 2008|09:12am] |
May is an awkward time for plants down here. Spring's full bloom is pretty much over now in LA (it's probably just getting started for the rest of you) and there will be a few uneasy weeks before the summer flowers start showing their finery. The roses have the limelight all to themselves right now. Here's what crushes my spirit though: Over two years ago, I bought myself a Dwarf Meyer Lemon tree. This is California, right? Lemons grow like weeds! Even my clumsy green thumb can't ruin this sure thing. So I put it in a big pot out in the sun (these dwarfs are supposed to do all right in pots) and over the last two years, I don't think the tree has grown one inch. I water it like I'm supposed to, it gets as much sun as it's supposed to, and yet it's the same thing, over and over again: New leaves, fragrant blossoms, tiny lemonettes, then this:
What happens is that those lemon fetuses - well, what else should I call them? - grow to be about the size of, well, a fingernail (I put myself in the photo just to give you some scale. Sorry for my dirty nails. I was gardening!), then they turn yellow and fall off. This happens every time with every lemon. I've never had a lemon on that tree make it past that point.
Until now!
This is the largest lemon I've ever seen on the tree. Look at that big mama! It's the only fruit on that tree that is this size, and it's still green, which is a very good sign. Could this break the curse and turn into a beautiful Meyer lemon, which Miki will wind up putting into some recipe or maybe even make lemonade out of? Stay tuned...
Meanwhile, the cutworms are back and are decimating my mint, as they do every year. Cutworms. The very name sounds sinister and dangerous. I'm not one to use pesticides, but apparently even the pros don't think they'd work anyway. The only way to get rid of cutworms is to find them and pick them off. Easier said than done, as cutworms are tiny and are basically the same green as the mint they eat. (They can turn a wonderfully thick square yard of mint into bare stalks in less than 2 weeks.) But I've been finding them and flicking them out into the street. Yet still, they come! They've also attacked our basil plants. We bought some early this year so that we'd have lots of basil this summer. Maybe we bought it too early. (And don't even ask about the sad little dill plant, which was devoured by snails - I didn't even think we had snails in our garden anymore - within 10 days of my planting it!)
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| Still thinking of having kids? |
[01 May 2008|11:34pm] |
This lad is the poster child for birth control:
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